This is the topic I write about the least. It's so personal but, one thing I know is we all have to grieve in our own ways. There may be some traditions you are expected to follow, and that's part of the process. But your own internal grief - that's different.
I never liked to cry in public. It took me a long time to learn I need not be ashamed of any authentic emotion I have and show.
I grieved differently for different people and situations, and I don't let anyone tell me that's wrong. We might even include sorrow for an opportunity we missed, a job we loved and lost, or a marriage that ended - grief takes on many forms.
Who and how you grieve is personal.
Don't let grief dictate the rest of your life. Own your grief, and move on.